I asked myself a question while singing along with our amazing worship team at Cross Point’s 10th Anniversary service a couple Sundays back…
Why am I singing?
Because I want to hear my amazing harmony efforts? (emphasis on ‘efforts’)
Because everyone else is singing?
What if I’m caught on camera? I’d look like a boob if I’m just standing here.
Have I come to “Worship”?
I believe God was in the Municipal Auditorium that Sunday. But did God experience worship of Him…or of me?
LET GO
Over and over, laced in between each line of every song, I heard the words “Let Go”. Let go of…
Insecurities.
Image.
Facade.
Fears.
Inauthenticity.
TAKE HOLD…
of ME.
Let go of you, Tam, and take hold of Me. That beautiful lyric you’re singing about how great I am…Do you believe it or are you too preoccupied to soak the truth of those words in with a grateful heart, in spirit and truth?
God challenged me big time that Sunday. He deserves my worship!
It isn’t a question of did I experience a worshipful moment, but did God experience worship of Him?
Why do you sing? Do you ever struggle with focus and the heart behind your song?
[pictured in photo: Carlos Whittaker, Natalie Grant, Jarrod Morris]
I find myself extremely sober (for lack of a better word) during the musical portion of the church service. I am enjoying the music, the creativity, critiquing the performance, and finding how I fit in with it all from my pew.
I still have "worship" time in my car on my way to church. I choose the songs. I don't have an audience. I pour out myself & I listen in close to what, if anything, He is speaking.
I'm not saying this is where I want to remain, and I'm not saying that this is always the case, but whenever I am around people I am always conscientious of the fact that I am being heard. And when I am in private, I am conscientious of the fact that my heart is being heard.
I feel God is glorified in either setting. Just one is amongst hundreds of folks & the other, well, we got a room;)
Great questions Tammy!
i once had a vision while singing bgv's on my old worship team that God walked into the auditorium and when we started singing he turned his face away. my heart sank. my God had to turn His face away from our worship.
Intense.
We all need our eyes opened to this.
So powerful.
This.is.good.
I think everyone deals with it in some form or another. I know I have. And still do.
Though I think we've created a culture that pours into that mentality – when worship is good/bad based on song choice, worship leader, amazing lights, rad dynamics, the goose bumps.
We have made it about ourselves haven't we. It's turned into a "I want to leave feeling good" habit.
Lord forgive us.
When it is truly all about Him. None compares to Him. All is for Him.
Thank God for His faithfulness, love and patience for still encountering our hearts, for real, even when we are a long way off.
Thanks for being vulnerable here Tam.
Love
This is difficult for me to respond because God is dealing with me hard on this. Our church uses production lights and I LOVED THEM. (I'm a rocker at heart) NEVERTHELESS, my migraine prone head screams at these lights. These aren't just baby migraines but ones that last for days on end. How can i worship? Do i complain and take it away for the other "rockers" ?? Just a melee of emotions. Lately, I've been stepping aside during worship and then listening to it online later. It works for now. But back to your question… yes i armistice struggle with but I DONT. Let it be my definition. Worship is not only music, production… its letting our Father know with outwardly actions and prayers. I'm thankful for that.
Hi. I love you. I like seeing your face up there.
My biggest struggle with worship (namely, singing) has to do with my own vanity and insecurities. When I'm at home, alone, WOW – my worship is so much more intense and focused and I'm not caring how I sound. Seldom do I care how I look in church while worshiping. I had visited this VERY charismatic church here a few times when we first moved here – that got me over any insecurities about how I may LOOK while worshiping. However, I hate my singing voice. I don't want to torture others with it either – so I hold back sometimes. Unless however the entire congregation is loud enough to drown me out. ha! See – my vanity. my insecurity. If the entire crowd around me stopped singing in the middle of worship – I would too – because heaven forbid anyone hear me. Its easy to forget we aren't there to sound amazing for everyone else…we are there to worship God and he thinks we sound amazing no matter what. At our church, they let people do "special music solos" every week. OH MY WORD. Sometimes, I cringe from embarrassment for them – but on the other hand, its awesome that they aren't just highlighting the people who sound like Grammy winners (for real, there are a couple in our church who rock it). They are letting imperfect singers worship God in the way we are meant to – without reservation.
K, now I'm going back to my Hillsong station on Pandora so I can sing as loud as I want to.
Okay, I totally cannot sing in church. Don't mind a little clapping and LOVE worship but sing….nope. Cant do it.
I think it comes down to the simple fact I KNOW I look like an absolute idiot, flailing around vocally like a beached fish in the hot sun. (Wow, didn't know I had that analogy in me)
Oddly enough, worship is my favorite part. I do love to soak into some music.
Mmmmm…..well said sister.
DMo??
you kill me!
John & I just moved into a new home. New neighborhood. I went to a new church today in hopes that it could be a place for us to feel at home. I went without any promise that my husband would ever join me there. I kept challenging myself "Who am I singing for? Why am I singing? What am I singing? What do the words mean?" I tried to enter into the worship and step out of myself. The distractions were endless… coffee, people, 12-string guitar, worship leader, the carpeting, the co-leader -her harmonic techniques… my own feelings of vulnerability.
But God. You know? But God. And but His church. But His church. We. not an I, but a we – together. Bringing our pitiful strains of worship to a holy other, because our spirit drives us, compels us, invites us there. And the distractions, in this knowledge, they wash away.
Thanks for helping me feel not so alone today Tam.
"Bringing our pitiful strains of worship to a holy other, because our spirit drives us, compels us, invites us there. And the distractions, in this knowledge, they wash away. "
i read this and filled with chills. this is so good, jen!
yes and amen!