About a third of all Americans flush the toilet while they’re still sitting on it.
[that would not be me. that's weird.]
An average person laughs about 15 times a day.
[but if you had a Kota living with you that would triple!]
A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn’t give her coffee.
[and don't forget it!]
You can only smell 1/20th as well as a dog.
[no. pretty sure i smell much better than a dog. thankyousokindly.]
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories per hour.
[someone had to volunteer for this study.]
Ants always fall over on their right side when intoxicated.
[so do my uncles. wait. no...]
If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16,1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?
[no comment.]
No word in the English language rhymes with orange, month, silver or purple…
until today! i say, let’s invent our own words that rhyme with those and give them definitions.
yes?
great…
GO!
I once laughed so many times in a day that I gave myself a purple nurple…hey wait…I found something that rhymes with purple.
really??
You are a wealth of information today! Now, let's see…..
Why anyone would give THEMSELVES a purple nurple is a question that definitely needs answered…..
Porange—that would be the orange-colored puss that oozes out of your pores when acne strikes—-I know, YUM!
Dunth—That would be what someone with a lisp would call someone who isn't very smart…ie. Dunth Cap!
Wilver–That would be what the old lady with no teeth calls her husband Wilbur….HEY WILLLLLVER!
Herple–This would be a group of herpes.
You're welcome!
I did not know you had to have teeth to make the B sound. I've tried several times, and I don't think I need teeth………..
The Dunth comment was directly making fun of me. I know it.
I don't know anything about herple….. so. I'm not touching it with a 12 foot pole…
Listen my creativity is limited and with that specific old lady, her B's turn to V's when her teeth are out!
You could be on to something……or not…..
Trust me…..you don't want to touch a herple with your pole.
And Tam, let me apologize for Andy bringing poles into this conversation. Please direct all hate mail at him.
herple.
ahahahaha!
I'll think up some definitions later …. I just wanted to ask: HOW do u intoxicate an ANT?????????? What do they drink? Johnny Walker? (Get it? Ants walk everywhere? *smirk* anyone? anyone? no? ok… bad joke LOL)
No… That sir, is FUNNY!!!!
Thanks, Melissa
I thought so too 
But I wasn't sure if anyone else would have gotten it 
Rorange. The split second combination of yellow and red that is the excuse of 99 44/100% of people who get pulled over by a cop for running a red light.
"But officer! It wasn't red! It was rorange!"
Purple – Durple: it's a bubbly burp
Month – Tonth: "I have told you to the Tonth degree that you are not going out with your friends this weekend!"
brent has bubbly burps all the time. now i can call them something =)
Pilfer – a southern saying my wife uses when I'm digging through something or being nosey.
laughing.
really…out loud.
but i never write "lol".
ooooh … thinking about moving to saudi arabia now.
yorange (n) – someone else's orange. "I'll eat my apple, you eat yorange."
grunth (n) – vocal depth. "Man, that Barry White packs a lot of grunth."
dilver (v) – to haggle about the price of an item at a garage sale. "Quit dilvering, Martha. Pay the lady so we can get home in time to watch the football game."
churple (v) – the art of humming a tune while gargling. "Everybody gather round the Christmas tree and listen to Johnny churple 'Away in a Manger'"
your list rocks!!!!
honestly…these could actually be taken seriously.
Thanks, Tammy. I love doing stuff like that. Keep 'em coming!
ya know….i think kass burps more than kota. but kota farts more.
things you clearly need to know.
Slorange-The slurred speech of an intoxicated ant.
People flush while they are sitting on the toilet? GROSS!! Those flushes splash!