What comes to your mind when you hear in captivity or held captive?
My guess is most of us think of a prisoner or felon…being held within bounds.
While I do not live a life behind bars, trapped in a cell, or under 24 hour supervision of the guards I must admit that there are still parts of my life that are in captivity.
Here I am, almost 42 years old, and I still struggle with being me.
And that’s so frustrating cuz I have said so many times that I like the Tam that I’ve become. All of my years, moments, highs and lows have helped to craft the Me I am today.
So what holds me/us back from being ourselves?
There is no one else like me. There is no one else like you. Is “Me” good enough for us these days?
I do believe that comparison is a killer. And today it is very difficult not to compare with others. Especially with social-media and people posting the best pics and over-elaborating the highs. We all do it. We want what the others seem to have all while disregarding what we already possess.
We get so inundated with the images and updates of so many others that our self-view may be getting blurred. So, I need to spend some time with me. I need to let me remind myself of who I am, Whose I am, what I have, what I am capable of, what my gifts and strengths are and what I have to offer that only I can.
Do you need to do the same?
For me, it was always the overwhelming desire to be accepted by others. If you fall into that trap, you will spend your energy trying to be the person that you think others want you to be, which can be a different person depending on the situation. This never works.
The truth is that you will never really know absolutely what others think of you, and even if you have a depth of communication that allows for a deeper understanding of their perception, their opinion of you will never be 100% correct.
We can't live up to our perceived notions of other's expectations. So we have to be willing to accept others as they are.
We have to search our heart and determine the principles by which we will live our life, and then do our best to live up to those principles. We need to cultivate our passions and interests, and not things that we thing will endear us to others, because while making others like us will make us feel better, allowing the things that are planted in us to grow will fulfill us.
In relationships where there is accountability (spouses, family, close friends), we need to love them from who we are, and allow growth to happen through the course of the relationship.
This discussion could ultimately be a book, so I'll wrap it up here: You can't love others well if you don't love yourself. You can't love yourself if you aren't yourself. Trying to be another person just so someone will accept you will just cause you to hate who you are.
dude. i love so much about your comment. i even quoted some of it on twitter. this is legit. and so well articulated. thank you!!
Is “Me” good enough for us these days? — I really love that statement.