Community Confessions

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i’ll get right to it. i have been disappointed with my body for almost a year now. i am not over weight – but i am not in shape.

and that really bugs me. i know for my health i need to take better care of my body by exercising regularly. but i dont. not consistently, at least.

i have a desire to lose 5 pounds. not a bad idea if i keep it at no more than that.

but here’s the thing… some days, i struggle with my old anorexic thought patterns.

days like today – it would be easy not to eat anything but a cracker or two just like old times. then i remember how traumatic that was on my body. and with having lupus…i cant think of a more stupid thing to do.

please know – that i am not going down that road again. i have set up accountability for me.

but i wanted you all to know where i was and what my plan is.

we leave for vacation on august 13th. that is 31 days from now. 1 month.

for the next month i commit to going to the gym, at least, 4 days a week but ima shoot for 5.

you have my permission to hound me on this too. dont worry about my eating…i eat very sensibly, and like i said, have plenty of accountability there.

i want to do this right. i will do this right.

my challenge to you – what can you do, along with me, for the next 31 days that would benefit your health?

i would love company in this!

94 thoughts on “Community Confessions”

  2. I've been here for about two months now – I was tired of my baby body – and I haven't been prego in two years. So – I've been running about 5 days a week and doing Pilates the other 2. It has changed my life – the running is such a stress reliever and brain purge and I didn't know how much I would need that when I started.

    I also have auto-immune Thyroid disease and this has really seemed to help with my energy level…so it's good all the way around.

    So I'm with you! I still have a ways to go – but I'm committed.

    Abs

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  3. i am with you on this. i had an eating disorder in high school so i have a really hard time being balanced in my efforts to lose weight/get fit. so i just stay where i am but i would feel so much better if i lost 15 lbs. so i'm going to commit to working out 4-5 times a week until i get to see your pretty face in august. saw that chad signed up for weight watchers. we are going to be one fit group of people invading the OC!

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  4. Alrighty! Here we go! I leave for vacation in 29 days! I will commit to 3 days of working out with you. I recently went through a divorce and lost a ton of weight on the "not eating is the only thing I can control" diet. I'm with ya! Let's do this!

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  5. Oh this is so good. Yes, yes, yes. I struggle too… especially since Rowan has been born and we moved south. I no longer have access to a gym, nor can we afford it. So, I'm going to jump in with you. I'm going to hop back on track with my eating and commit to doing my yoga videos at least 4 (I'll shoot for 5, too) times a week.

    I'm with you.

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  6. well, i just signed back up for weight watchers last night. I need to be healthy for my wife and kids and I am heavier than I have been in a long time. I find that when I work out I sleep better, my ADD is less insane and I am an all around better person. Tam I applaud you for being honest and transparent. We have your back.

    (I had about 10 snarky things I was going to write in this comment but it just didn't seem the right time for snarky)

    Love you

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  7. Well, we leave for vacation in 2 days…..that translates into me getting fatTER in the next 2 weeks. I might have to catch the tail end of this :-) . Best of luck to ya though. I'm pretty sure I could lose 5 pounds in about 10 minutes (#throne), but when ya have as many 5 pounds as I do, it's not tough :D .

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  9. i'm with you. except, i'd like to lose 9 lbs MAX. i'm not sure if that's possible though.

    i just started up with the LoseIt App again and am hitting the gym 5 days a week. wanna run/walk with me next week in san fran?

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  10. i need to lose 20lbs.

    i need to exercise and stay away from unhealthy food.

    God has really been speaking to me about taking care of His temple…and i haven’t been doing a good job.

    can you help me too?

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  12. First time I have ever visited your blog and you hit me in between the eyes!! I have just started following Jenny's blog and Plan B is my FAVORITE book these days- so she suggested I join the discussion there- but then I saw this!!! I put on a pair of shorts today- looked at how out of shape my muscles were and thought- I HAVE TO EXERCISE!! I do not need to lose ANY WEIGHT! Long story but have practically been underweight due to some health problems that the doctors can't figure out. When I eat right (vegetarian) and exercise my body starts to mend. Just decided today to get back on track…. You don't even know me- but thanks for the inspiration….

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  13. For the next 30 days: I will not stand in the mirror and criticize myself and put myself down.

    (not that I have my exercise or eating in control)

    But for me right now this is more important.

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  17. Oh wow. See… this is where my OCD kicks in… it's not monday, so I can't start til then.

    I need to lose roughly 15 kilo… about 33lbs. I had a baby 4 months ago, so that's my excuse, but in realitly, it's the ridiculous amount of coke I've been drinking instead of eating (and I swore I wouldn't do that this time *sigh*)

    I have huge weight issues. I've always said if I didn't love food so much, I probably would have been annorexic. They mostly stem from having huge boobs, which makes me look so fat, when I'm not really, overall (30K). It's too hot to walk (and not safe to do it on my own (there have been instances of lady walkers/runners being grabbed in BROAD DAYLIGHT, so Adam refuses to let me out in the evening… I'm not arguing) but I *do* have JM's 30 day shred stashed away.

    Sooo…. I'll finish the last bottle of coke in the fridge. And then go against all that screams that I'm not beginning right, and start Shredding.

    Tonight. (pray for the caffeine withdrawl migraines I'm boud to get. The last time I came off coke I was couch ridden for 3 days.)

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  18. Thanks Tam. I wish I could diet along with Adam (who is doing so ridiculously well on his diet I can hardly see straight, I'm so dang proud of him) but I'm still nursing, so I'm not allowed.

    Aren't we all going to be a bunch of hotties when this is over?!

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    • sorry to butt in here…. but you saying you're still nursing made me remember when I nursing and working out. I didn't cut my calories considering you need more calories when nursing than you do when pregnant….but I did work out 3-5 days a week. The extra calorie burning provided by nursing AND working out combined got me into the BEST shape of my life. Then I got pregnant again. haha! During that time it only took me about 7 months to get back into shape. After this last baby, it's taken me three years with no diet/exercise plan to get back to what I was.

      It's possible!! Just don't do the chest weights. haha!

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      • Sorry to butt in here too…but it's not the amount of calories you eat but the type that matters!

        There have been studies showing people eating an excess of 5000 protein/fat calories per day that don't gain weight. Weight loss/gain is more about what your body does with SUGAR which comes from carbohydrates!

        It's when you add in the carbs that your metabolism gets all out of wack. Your body produces more insulin which in turn tells your body to store the excess sugar as fat. It's kind of weird to think about it this way (because our society is anti-fat) but you don't gain weight because you eat more…you eat more because you gain weight.

        Why? Because our bodies need FUEL to function. When your body STORES fat in your fat cells in stead of burning them for fuel, you get hungrier because there is no fuel…well, there's plenty of fuel, it's just trapped in your fat cells because of the vicious cycle. To many carbs = more insulin = more fat storage.

        Bottom line, you can diet or cut calories and see some change, but int the long run if you don't stay away from processed and nasty carbs, your body will eventually get the best of you.

        Studies ar showing that eating a diet high in protein and fat (animal fat/fish oil/nuts/seeds/etc) is healthier than eating grains, oats, rice (starchy grains). There's only one animal that eats grains "naturally" and that is birds. Carbs are for the birds!

        Man, I just wrote a novel.

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        • we just had our trainers over last night for dinner and i was telling jill what i had eaten that day…i thought she was gonna pummel me. i got the "youre not eating enough and youre not eating the right combos and youre not eating enough fruit and veggies".

          i am now on a designed eating plan from her. lots of food. good food. the right foods. the right foods together.

          im excited! wish i wouldve done this years ago and stuck with it.

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  19. um.
    you know my thoughts about exercising.
    do the stupid have-to's to get to the want-to's i suppose.
    see you at the gym 8pm.
    hear that chorus singing? no? yeah, me neither.

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  20. Physical health?? I'm not sure that's my biggest problem. We eat super healthy, save for the ice cream once in a while and the "chips-n-dip" night Jake and I have about once a month. I'm CONSTANTLY on the go, although a set exercise regiment wouldn't be too bad. Right now though, that's truly NOT feasible. Plus, I'm okay where I'm at. Weight wise, I am comfortable. And the only thing that would eliminate what I don't like would be a tummy tuck and boob lift. Just sayin. Can't unstretch that skin! Thank you for that boys. ;o)

    I'm not sure "health" category this falls under, but I need to limit my online time much more than I do. I'm always VERY happy when I limit myself, but then fall back into my usual "spend hours online" routine. And it's all legit stuff….MOPS stuff, homeschool stuff, correspondance, bills, budgets….. okay FB isn't legit….. but mostly I'm not just randomly browsing. I'm on for a reason. But I get swept up more than I should. SO, my challenge that I've actually been thinking about for a few days is having a set time everyday.

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  21. Throughout the day, when I think of things that would normally cause to jump online right then…. I should write it down in a notebook as a reminder. Then at my appointed time of day I will have those reminders. If I don't do something when I think of it, I forget it. So having reminders would help…and keep me from jumping on 20x a day. Now…. to figure out the best times to be online and give myself enough time to do everything. Hmmmm….. something to think about and decide on. "Online Business Hours." hahaha! ;o)

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    • that would be the hardest thing…figuring out when is the best time for you to devote to online things. i imagine with 3 boys and your busy schedule it might be hard to nail down a specific time each day.

      can jake help in any way?

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  22. Jake was ANTI-help last time. haha! I had set aside certain hours but he asked me to change them b/c those were the ONLY hours of the day he could be online for stuff. So instead of picking a different time, I tossed it out the window altogether. But I need set times to devote to each of my things everyday.

    Ideally, an hour in the morning and two hours at most in the evenings (when needed) would be ideal. MOPS stuff takes a lot of time, and I imagine once school starts that will take a lot of time too. My goal is to use as many online resources for free as I can. That involves a lot of printing! ;o)

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  23. I've been "CrossFit-ing" for the last few months and I love it. Funny thing is I haven't lost any weight. I've changed my focus from weight loss to health/fitness gain. It's easy to lose weight. You just have to do something…

    It's not easy to gain fitness. We're also doing a "primal" eating challenge. Basically we're eating like we would if we lived in a hunter/gatherer society. Meat, veggies, fruits, seeds, berries, nuts. Period.

    No junk. No bread. No sodas. No processed stuff from a box. Can you really call anything that comes from a box food?

    Anyways, it's a pursuit of health and fitness. Many recent studies are showing that the whole low-fat craze may actually be the cause of heart disease, strokes, weight gain, inflammation, etc. It's the CARBS! Well, the bad processed ones – which would be any grain/carb that isn't in its natural state. Goodbye pasta. Goodbye bread. Goodbye chips. Goodbye…you get the point.

    Funny thing is the whole "low-fat" craze is relatively new. Only about 40 years old. It's bad science.

    Sorry, I'm a rambling now. But anyways, I'm getting stronger and having fun doing it! I'm in for the next 31 days (and beyond)!

    Go Tam!

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    • im proud of you, brother!! i know you are very conscious of good health. so i love to see you so fired up.

      yah…thats the other thing…whole grains. fortunately, im not a big bread or pasta person so ive got it good here. but i did purchase a very nice loaf of whole grain bread with flax seeds. mmm. not bad at all.

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  24. so at first i didn't know exactly how to participate….but then just as i was going for that late night snack it hit me that since being back in the states and having a kitchen right here i've been SO lacking discipline in the are of not eating late at night! so here goes to not eating after 9pm…….. :)

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  25. Well I am willing to take the challenge of matching your gym time. If I have a clue what that is.

    I lost 55lb and I have gained it all back. This last 14 months have been horrible and I just didn't care. No I am hating it because with the hot months come the health issues, the pain and the fatigue. But I have started going to the gym a couple times a week. Maybe this will motivate me to go 4 times. LOL

    You are beautiful. :)

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  26. I'm continuing my speed walking which has resulted in 13 lbs (or 6kgs in my language) weight loss in the 2 months we were in the US. I'd slacked on that for a year prior to emigrating to wherever it is we live. I don't think I look like I've lost that much, but that's what the scales tell me.

    Like Russ, I'm less interested in weight loss but rather being fit. So I'm also joining the gym here in Carrick to do some upper body work. And hopefully I'll fit in some hiking through this beautiful country too.

    Regardless I'll continue to ignore my BMI, because no matter how slim I've been at times, it always pegs me as overweight at best. A few weeks back I was obese, now I'm down to the upper end of the overweight category. If I got to "normal", I'd be positively malnourished.

    My bones really must weigh a lot…

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    • Adam was informed while he was in the army (6'2", 90 kg (198lbs) and not an ounce of fat on him… *drifting*…….. *startles back*) that according to the BMI index, he was obese.

      I don't think it's very accurate, somehow.

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      • that's the same boat my husband is in almost….just a little bit taller, and a bit more weight on him. Military does not like that! And I love how they "help" them out of it by putting them in what they call "The Fat Boy Program." At least in the AF they do. ugh.

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    • BMI is a joke. It's an inaccurate measurement. Athletes who have lots of muscle are technically overweight and even obese sometimes according to BMI standards. In fact, one of the reasons we have such a "shocking" obesity EPIDEMIC (the sky is falling, the sky is falling!) is because the definition of "obese" was changed. Instead of using weight the standard became BMI.

      Studies prove again and again that weight loss has EVERYTHING to do with hormonal response. Your body's most involved hormone? INSULIN! Want to lose weight? You've got to control your insulin. The more sugar you eat, the more insulin your body produces. What's sad is that most people don't realize that just about everything we eat in the modern diet is treated EXACTLY like pure sugar by the body…which in turn pushes the insulin levels (in your blood) up and up and up. Which ends up in fat storage.

      You can run on the treadmill for hours on end. You can spend hours in the gym. But if you continue eating and drinking SUGAR CALORIES (processed/refined carbs) your progress will be slow and excruciating (if you have any real progress).

      It's been clinically proven that a diet high in fat/protein PWNS a diet low in fat/high in carbs. Thing is, it's a tradeoff. We need calories to function. So if we eat a low fat diet we will automatically replace those calories with high carbs (think grains, starches, etc). Even by eating what we "think" is natural food, we're KILLING ourselves.

      GRAINS are not good folks.

      Exercise is. Animal fat is. Protein is. They will lower your blood pressure AND insulin at the same time. And believe it or not, when you eat a high-fat/high protein diet your cholesterol levels will regulate. Why? INSULIN!!! Insulin is one of the key hormones involved in the production of cholesterol as well. If you have lower levels of insulin in your blood, by default you'll also have lower cholesterol levels.

      You might be thinking this sounds counter to conventional nutritional wisdom….and you'd be right…except for one thing: The whole low-fat, low cholesterol diet only came into the "norm" about 50 years ago. And the US government pushed it into the food pyramid AGAINST the recommendations of top scientists at the time. The very first low-fat/high "good" carb diet recommendations were written by a vegetarian intern (obviously with an agenda), NOT by nutritional scientists.

      I challenge ANY and everyone on this post who is interested in SOLID nutritional information that isn't driven by commodity agriculture (grains/oats) or vegetarian (anti-meat) agendas, to dig deeper. Look past the money. Look past the lobbying. Honestly, look past what the government recommends, because if the government's plan was so "right" why are there more and more cases of diabetes, heart disease, strokes, etc?

      One word: Carbs.

      Ok, I've written another novel. :)

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      • Thing is…NO-ONE sees me speed walk…unless they get up really early and come and spy on me.

        I don't do the classic "Olympic" powerwalk thing, though I have in the past. I won a few races back in the day.

        So don't feel too ripped off.

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  27. ah crap I forgot about this until I came here. LOL And I've been online 20 minutes….. GETTING OFF!!!!!!! Until kids go to bed. LOL baby steps. haha!

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  28. "struggled w/my old anorexic thought patterns" / "struggling w/body image"

    me too. me too me too. I've gained weight since I've been married, ugh… so I'm struggling w/body image. But there is this huge part of me that when I diet, I still don't do it 100% healthy and I don't want to get back into unhealthy non-eating patterns either.

    I think the truth of it all is just that I am totally exercise aversive. Yup. Totally. Can't stand it. But I know I need it. oye.

    Ok, whining session over. As you were.

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  29. Oh gosh. I have gained … some weight (don't know how much) … over the past few months. And right now it just seems like work to reverse it. A part of me is starting to get up the inclination to actually do the work, but most of me is still feeling the drain and strain. I'm trying a little, but … long way to do. and I don't know about the next 30 days. :/

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    • its definitely work to reverse it. it takes 10 times as long to get rid of it, it seems. thats the part that makes me wanta throw up my hands. but i know im gonna feel so much better if i just hunker down and gettir done. but seriously…my health depends on this. badly.

      try one small change at a time. like, add. or subtract ;) , one thing a week.

      say…

      increase your water intake for awhile.
      if you snack at night make it a no-carb snack.
      then cut carbs at dinner (that always works for me)
      jump rope for 10 minutes 3 days a week.
      increase your fruits and veggies.

      little changes done consistently can make a big difference.

      im sure you already know this stuff.

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      • Yeah, little adds and subtracts was how I did it the first time around (a couple years ago). I'm kinda trying. But then cheese looks so good … and fries. Yum. And then I just get lazy. And then I don't have my own refrigerator and stove right now … that's probably a big difference. I'm trying to not be too hard on myself, but I would like to feel better in my own skin, you know?

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  30. I've become increasingly unsatisfied with my body lately, and it doesn't help that my mum has gone from a size 20 to a size 10/12 over the past year. So….I signed up to the same program that she's on. I'm actually nervous. I was going to start today, but on the advice of my mum, I'm starting monday. Here goes!!

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      • hmm. I emailed a reply, but it didn't arrive.

        So.

        I'm doing a plan developed by a pharmacist: http://www.tonyferguson.com
        it's essentially meal subsitution, carb reduction, and portion control. It's closely monitored (weekly visits, weekly phone calls), and has worked well for mum. If it works half as well for me, I'll be VERY happy.

        Bizarrely, all I want is to lose enough weight so I can run again. I really enjoy running. No idea why. Maybe because it's the only time I let myself listen to the Relevant Mag Podcast!

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  31. They say one month makes a habit.

    I need more boundaries for me time. I feel the exhaustion of not doing that. I would like to read more and and love on some simple things.

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