Archive for Action

tam | February 13, 2013

The Fight Is Worth It

The past is the past. Today is now. Tomorrow is full of hope.

I challenged a friend to say this out loud each morning before their feet hit the floor. Easy words to say but not easy to live out.

The past is the past? What does that even mean, Tam? I’ve never been able to forget my past. The saying, “forgive and forget”… Forgive? Yes. Forget? I’m not sure we truly can. In spending years dealing with my past I have learned a few things.

1-While it is hard to bless and release offenders, it is one of the most therapeutic, powerful and freeing choices one can make.
2-Forgiving does not equal condoning, it equals releasing their/its power over you.
3-Past memories that often creep into mind can serve as two powerful tools…
* Uninvited memories of offenses can be valuable reminders to empathize with others currently struggling to forgive.
* Memories of poor past decisions personally made can serve as reminders of whom we do not want to be again.
4-Invite a handful of safe, and trusted, people to surround you. Get honest and vulnerable before them and allow them to help you navigate through healing and forgiving.
5-Sit quietly with God as often as you can. Just listen. Be still and know He is God…we are not.

Choosing to sit in the past is like hardening cement to the soul – quick sand to the heart. Dig out. The fight is worth it.

Category: abuse, Action, Confessions, convictions, courage, Forgiveness, Freedom, Friendships, God, Healing, lessons, Life, Memories, opinion, perspective, trust |

tam | July 11, 2012

4 comments

Do Not Withhold

Do you ever think, “What if this was my last day on earth.”?

Ok. Maybe it’s just me. But I do think that from time to time. I wonder if I’ve invested enough into my family and friends and church. And if I’m being honest with myself, which isn’t always easy, I have to answer…No.

I assume people know I love them. I figure that so and so knows that I believe in them. I think, “doesn’t she know I care?” Then I ask myself…When is the last time you told them how you felt, Tam?

This week I ~~had~~ took the opportunity to tell someone very close to me how I felt about them. I expressed how much I believe in them. I, hopefully, spoke truth, encouragement and life into them. And I realized…I don’t do this enough. There are so many people around me that I look at and admire so greatly, yet, I never tell them.

Why? I don’t have an answer for that question.

So, I am making a July resolution (it’s a new thing. all the cool kids are doing it.) and I am being intentional and mindful to tell my loved ones how I feel about them. Too often I see an admirable quality in someone and I neglect to confirm them.

When is the last time you were confirmed? To know that someone believes in you is so powerful.

Is there someone in your life that needs a word of encouragement or affirmation? Let’em know you believe in them. It won’t only bless them…it’ll bless you.

“Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act.” ~ Prov 3:27

Category: Action, Communication, Life, Living |

tam | January 8, 2012

21 comments

Let It Go…And Live

I remember the days when I hid. The days when I woke up each morning and the first thing that came to mind would be my bag of secrets. I would slowly get out of bed, grab that bag of secrets, throw it over my shoulder and carry it around all day long. Allowing it to dig into my flesh causing pain, day after day.

It was my way of life. My normal.

This weekend Pete spoke a challenging word to many! Right out the gates he gave us this truth…

If we don’t learn to transform the pain, we’ll just transfer it.

Ok. Yes! This couldn’t be more true than truth itself. That was me. I transfered for years! I lied, misled, used, pretended, acted out, used drugs, invited an eating disorder, manipulated the ones I loved and betrayed peoples trust. All because I chose not to come clean.

The very second Pete shared those words my heart began grieving for all those who live under the weight of secrets and pain…no matter what the source.

I still have to work on letting things go. There are self-centered uglies splashed all over me. This weekend I was lovingly, but firmly, reminded to come clean. Come clean with God…Come clean with my loved ones.

Replace Concealment with Confession.

I just want to encourage all of you to find people you can trust to share the weight of your heart with. Most likely, they’re right under your nose. It’s been my experience that hidden secrets fosters a facade that acts as a flame that ultimately burns bridges. It’s just not worth it. Let it go….and live like you were meant to.

That is all.

Thoughts? Confessions?

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Category: Abortions, abuse, accountability, Action, Authenticity, Childhood, community confessions, Confessions, convictions, courage, CrossPoint, Faith, Family, Freedom, God, lessons, Life, Living, opinion, perspective, Truth |

tam | December 10, 2011

3 comments

I was a psycho woman my first married Christmas

I love giving gifts. I love getting gifts! But, it took me a long time to see this exchange for what it really should be. When my husband, Brent, and I celebrated our first Christmas together we were struggling to make ends meet. We were just starting out and had very little. So, needless to say our first Christmas was extremely tight.

Brent and I decided we would set a very small budget to buy one gift for each other. Brent headed straight for the mall and I headed straight for the Dollar Store! I was practical, bought him things he liked. Gum, armor-all, a wrench, a 10 pack of no. 2 pencils with the name Brett etched in gold on them (Brent is a hard name to find). I paid the damage, went home, wrapped it all up in one box, put a $5.00 bow on top (it’s all about the delivery) and I called it a good venture!

As I placed this remarkable gift under our Charlie Brown tree my eyes immediately bolted to this hideous object lying helplessly alone. My heart went out to it for it had clearly been attacked by a large dose of testosterone. Men do not contain the “wrapping” gene. It didn’t take long to figure out from the outside exactly what it was. It was a Remington Wet/Dry Razor. I’d wanted one forever – but it was way too expensive! And there I sat in a glorious knick-free shaving dreamland until I was interrupted by reality, “I must return this gift!” So I hopped in my car, unwrapped the gift while I drove to…let me see…Yes, the price tag is still on it…Sears. I returned the wet/dry razor, with much remorse, and headed right to our bank to deposit the money back into our account.

Just hours later my husband discovered what I had done. And, it broke his heart. That was his gift to me and I rejected it. Our very first Christmas, first chance to wow each other, and I crushed his hopes and excitement.

As i grew in faith and learned more about God, the ultimate gift-giver, I realized that giving is a part of who we are. I am here, the person I am today, because God gave so much for me. Because Jesus gave so much for me. Christ gave His life as a gift to give me life. God started the gift-giving trend.

Now, a Remington razor can not compare to a death on the cross. But the heart of the giver is the beauty of the gift. it really doesn’t even matter what the gift is. Imagine the indescribable look on Gods face each time one of His children receives His gift of life and eternity with Him. Now, imagine the heart-break He must experience each time one of His children rejects that gift.

So now, for me, keeping the spirit of Christmas alive is to give gifts. It reminds me of the gift Christ gave us. It is emulating His example.

Big gift, small gift, homemade, time, a poem, volunteering…anything that sets your heart on others…that’s the beauty of it. Even deciding not to exchange gifts as a family and, instead, put that money toward something else. Just let your heart genuinely, and joyfully, give.

I used to be “anti-gift” – until I realized what my life would look like if Jesus had been an anti-gifter. So, I give what I can. It’s not about the money, it’s about the heart and intent. When we give, without expectation, to others – we are being most like Christ.

What does “The True Spirit Of Christmas” look like to you? How do you celebrate it? I would love to have you share your story with us over at World Vision’s blog! You can also read some amazing posts on the true spirit of Christmas.

Category: 12 Blogs Of Christmas, Action, Budget, Christmas, Community, Faith, Family, God, Gratitude, Life, Love, Ministry, missions, perspective, world vision | Tags: 12 Blogs Of Christmas, World Vision

tam | September 18, 2011

19 comments

What Are You Waiting For?

I’m just gonna get right to the meat of this post…

I’ve been a part of many funerals and memorial services in my lifetime. And the one statement I have heard over and over is…

I wish I would’ve had the chance to tell them…

May I please point out the obvious here?

As long as we still have breath – we still have the chance.

What are you waiting for…

Tell them.

Category: Action, Community, Confessions, convictions, courage, Death, DO something, Faith, Family, Friendships, Gitz, Grace, Living, Love |

tam | September 1, 2011

No comments

Obstacles

The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn. – Marcus Tullius Cicero

I have a couple thoughts on this quote but was interested in how you might interpret it.

What are your thoughts?

Category: Action, Community, Confessions, convictions |

tam | January 11, 2011

23 comments

Cloudy Clarity

My One Word this year is Clarity. One Word is the ultimate New Years Resolution Replacement. It’s an opportunity to take just one word and make it your focus. Easy as that.

We’ve completed 11 days this year so far and my word, clarity, has rocked my world.

The process of clarification means there will have to be revelation. And, sometimes, that revealing process can be quite uncomfortable.

But uncomfortable doesn’t always mean unnecessary. Often times it’s the most effective way to get you from one place to another. And, hopefully, that transition lands you in a better, healthier, wisdom-filled place.

Clarity: the quality of being clear, in particular; the quality of being certain or definite; the quality of transparency or purity

I feel like the last two years we’ve, I’ve, been in transition. Transition into what exactly? I do not know. Nothing has been clear. Until now. Well, actually, there still isn’t a ton of clarity but there has been much shedding of light on dreams, passions, ideas, fears, back burners, that have been conveniently set aside because they were inconvenient, scary or just left me squeamish.

It is not by accident that Clarity is my One Word. I believe God had everything to do with it. This year, I’m afraid, will be a good, long year of hiney-kicking.

I’m ready for some certainty, definitiveness, clarity. It is the necessary step to growth. If we do not know where there is weakness how will we know how, and where, to grow in strength?

As of now…the clarity is still cloudy. But, there are still 353 more days to work that out. If these first 11 days are any indication of what the rest of the year may hold…I better put on my big-girl pants, buckle up and get ready for a crazy ride!

What is your One Word this year?

Category: Action, Authenticity, Community, God, lessons, Life, Living, Obedience, OneWord2011, opinion, perspective, wisdom |

tam | December 28, 2010

30 comments

This isn’t a resolution.

I do not make New Year’s resolutions. It’s just too much pressure. I’m more of a take it one day at a time kinda girl. I like it that way.

But tonight I was thinking about one of my personality traits I need to work on. Ok, one of the many. In the past this trait was much worse than it is now. Yet, still, it is something I need to remain mindful of.

I’ve shared many times here of how I can be a reactionary person. It’s something that usually gets me in trouble and I almost always end up regretting those actions/words.

I always go back to the times I laid in that clinic bed, feet braced in stir-ups, being prepped for those abortions…Decisions I had made without giving it much, or any, thought at all. Never once considering the effects it would have on my future and the people in it.

Or the many times I have felt the need to defend myself simply because I was too ashamed to admit a fault when being called on it. Too often, in that defense, hurtful words are spoken.

Looking back, I can honestly say, each time I have made knee-jerk decisions they have been made out of selfishness.

So what is the resolution for this year that I’m not really making cause I don’t like the pressure of a full year decision cause I’m not that kinda girl??

Think before I act. Think before I respond.

Consider the implications my actions or words may have on others.

Some of you may be thinking this is such a simple, perhaps silly, resolution. But in the two separate times I had to sit my kids down to tell them about my abortions, I realized there is no going back for do-overs. So, I need to be intentional about making the right decision the first time.

A little change that, likely, will produce bigger change…for the better.

Are you not making a New Year’s Resolution? If so, what resolution are you not making?

Category: Abortions, accountability, Action, Confessions, lessons, Life, Love, opinion, parenting, perspective, selfishness |

tam | November 30, 2010

4 comments

Team InProgress

Water.

I used to hate drinking water. Yes…hate. The second water would hit my mouth I’d begin gagging. Really. I would actually gag. One day, several years ago, I was seeing an allergist who discovered I had an allergy to chlorine, and some other chemical thingy, that happened to be in most city water. And that would explain my gag reflexes. Then she fixed me all up. Yay.

Today, water is pretty much all I drink. Besides my Starbucks Double Shot on ice. *dreamy sigh….* Which also requires water.

Oh, how I take it all for granted.

And in steps Gifts Of Water.

Don’t leave me now. This is good!

I’ve heard of Water Missions before, but it wasn’t until last week, when I saw Carlos tweet about it, that I started researching this Organization. Within minutes, I knew I had to get involved.

So, I let the powers that be at Gifts Of Water know that I’d like to start up a team. Los started the first team, which inspired me to begin one as well. You have to figure that if enough people on the internets get involved, donate, or start their own teams, we’d hit a lot of corners of the world.

Here’s what is so great about this organization. It’s simple. It’s clear-cut. It’s effective.

Our family has spent years shying away from organizations like this because we just simply couldn’t afford it. Maybe we could on a one time basis, but many of these set-ups are monthly commitments. Long term commitments that many just can’t make these days.

This is where Gifts Of Water is different. And I love it! I am seriously excited about this, people!

$10.00.

That’s it. TEN dollars. Whenever you have it, whenever you can give it. I’ve texted my 10$ donation this week and the next time I skim our finances and see 10 extra dollars, I’ll text that too. It goes straight to my phone bill. Easy Peasy.

Then I started thinking…with all the Christmas shopping ahead of us, and all the deals we are certain to come across – why not text some of those savings to Gifts Of Water?

Seriously…how easy is this!

AND, how beautiful to be a part of an organization wholly committed to bringing water to 125, awaiting, communities. Let’s help these communities not have to wait much longer.

I encourage you to click over to Gifts Of Water, join Team InProgress, donate $10 when you can-as often as you can, and become a part of a mission that will quench a longtime need…

Will you join me??

Oh…and let’s beat the heck out of Los’s team =D