saturday morning/afternoon my family and i spent a wonderful day down at huntington beach. it was simply amazing! i loved being on the sand, hearing the ocean, smelling the air, tasting the salty air on my skin.
as i sat there people watching, cuz really…is there anything better to do at the beach?…i observed a few things that i shared on twitter.
“Beach observation: men watch women at the beach.”
“Beach observation 2: women watch women at the beach.”
“Beach observation 3: men watch women while with their woman at the beach.”
“Beach observation 4: senior citizen men are much more sneaky with their stares than young men.”
“Beach observation 5: I really miss it here.”
all true. all simple observations. the end. right?
nope.
checked twitter later that night to find these replies to my observations…
” “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Mt. 5:28″
“Esp. coming from a Christian, the beach comments were destroying, not edifying. I choose instead to buy what Jesus says.”
um. i never said i condoned or liked what i saw. it was simple fact…real life being lived out before my eyes. observations.
to reply #1 – i totally agree.
to reply #2 – what the? passive aggressive swoop and poop. and for what?
this lady followed up her words with a swift twitter unfollow.
i share this because it confirms a trend ive seen with people who unfollow me on twitter. theyre always the christian ones.
always.
what does that say? either im satan in 140 characters or im a failing christian. wait…i am a failing christian. and i know it. i admit it. i screw up (i said screw) every day.
i replied to this woman with a simple, “huh?”
i’ve yet to hear back from her.
this passive aggressive trend ive observed is disappointing. the intent was not to engage in conversation out of concern over my words, albeit misinterpreted.
so im left with…nothing. i dont know what to do with this kind of nonsense any longer. to be honest, its extremely frustrating, not hurtful, and certainly not productive.
or “edifying”.
that is all.
ummmm, those comments are a bit disturbing to me, specially when you are making observations like you said, not your feelings on them. I can tell u one thing…. all those observations are totally true, living on the beach and seeing it happen ALL the time too! I'm totally with you on all the above!
Yanno how often do i say things, especially "christian" things becasue I think the other person needs to hear them. I usually dont know them froma bar of soap yet becasue I'm "saved" its like i have this obligation to "set them straight". That's not me, or who I want to be, I want to live an authentic life and its all about me being open for others to speak into my life/learn about who I really am, warts and all. How quickly I 'give advice" usually reflects how much I'm hiding my real self. It's teh way life is Tam, we just need to pray and move on, sticking tru to Jesus and who he calls us to be i think.
p.s. totally jealous its Summer there, its cold and wintery here in Australia, cant wait for summer so we can hit the beach!!
Holy crap (yes, CRAP, preceded by Holy…I'm surely going to burn in Hell).
I got tired of "tweeting on eggshells" a long time ago. Can't please em all and I'm not gonna stress myself out trying.
They were observations…..YOUR observations…not mine, not the unfollow lady's….YOURS. Surely no more offensive than those who tweet about taking a dump. Oops, tummy rumblin….chat with ya later. #throne.
Now that I'm just your "older" sister, I can see where you got that saying. It's mine. I say Holy Crap several times a day! I can feel the fires of hell on the bottom of my feet as I type…..
When I read that, I was like “I… what?… aw maaaan. *facepalm* nononononono”
It’s that kind of legalism and, may I say, LACK OF A SENSE OF HUMOUR that keeps the lost away from Jesus in DROVES. Who wants to follow God if He takes all the fun and people watching festivities out of life?
If she found that offensive, then I think it’s pretty safe to say she has some issues that need Jesus.
(Also, becasue I’m a completely snarky person..what? you hadn’t realised?… I would have (not) written “You know, all I read in that was ‘blah blah blah blah blah I’m a dumb pharasee blah blah blah’. Maybe I should read it again and find the edifying bit.”
Just sayin’
That is it. Pastor T said crap on your blog. I am not reading any more…
Oh and Peace and Love Tam.
Soooo many Christians are soooo unChristlike. You Satan Heathen!
that's too bad b/c i found great humor in your beach observation tweets!!!
This is a really interesting story, especially in light of our pastor's sermon yesterday. He talked about how Christians should live a life of example for others to follow – constantly striving for further holiness and sanctification in our lives. And about how we are to help one another – protect one another – from sin that we may be stumbling into. He talked about how, when one goes down, we are affected. We are members of the same body. And if we stub our toe, the whole body is affected by it. Consequently, we are to keep watch over vulnerable members of the body – make sure to protect them. He said that if we are to correct one another, it should be done out of love and concern and humility, never out of judgment or criticism. We are to dialog with one another, gently.
I'll maintain that I don't think it was your intent to do this and I'll note that it's a long-shot, but the argument could be made that – even while leaving a lot of blanks and never using the word "lust" in this series of tweets – you were exposing someone's sin, instead of protecting and covering them. Again, I don't think you intended that at all.
All that aside, here's the part I don't get (and I really hope I'm wrong about this): it seems to me like she put judgmental words in your mouth (scripture reference) and then criticized and twitter-dumped you for them.
Again, I could be wrong about that, because she used two tweets to make her point. But that's what I see when I read this exchange. And that's what puzzles me the most.
It looks like you encountered a good old fashioned scripture bully. Why do we christians act like that sometimes, thinking it's okay to go all religious ninja attack on someone who simply states observations (or facts or something else not vaguely resembling an ideal, opinion or point of view)? Sorry you were twitter dumped, if it makes you feel any better I just started following you on twitter a few days ago. I promise I won't chide you with scripture or rip you apart for general observations.
Pretty sure no one checks that woman out when she’s at the beach.
This made me laugh out loud in a most un-godly manner.
Tam. Here is all I can say. If you are unfollowed it probably means that this person or persons were already looking for an excuse.
Same thought on being nice to people and no matter what they dislike you.
Here is my overall thought. Move on. You have TONS of us who love ya. Keep doing what your doing.
Hopefully I have not missed the whole idea of your post and this makes a bit of sense.
'from the abundance of the heart, speaks the mouth'
when an observation is able to be the[ seemingly] undoing of someones delicate nature…it shows this is about them and their walk, issues, outlook, etc. if it wasn't you, it would have been someone else.
when iron sharpens iron, it creates sparks,
l. xo
Wow! That was my response because I don't even get this. The comments you made did not justify those responses. Some people are just plain crazy. Its people like that who give Christians and God a bad name. We will just move on now! Crazy! Crazy! CRAZY!
eff the haters. that’s what I say… eff ‘em all to h-e-double-hockeysticks
I like your version of The Serenity Prayer.
haters b hatin'
Especially online…Christians can be the biggest jackasses. you must read this – http://www.nikao.ws/2010/06/29/turtles-helping-tu…
that's my 'pimp your post' for this week.
Don't worry about it friend. You don't need people to just follow you. you need people to edify you, pray for you, and LAUGH with you during beach observations.
Legalism sucks!
Keep living your life for real.
Love ya!
You got it Heidi, in the body of Christ, we don't need followers of us but of HIM! In the body, we to edify, pray, uplift, and laugh together!
Twitter's just another place for those who are so weak in their faith in Christ that they have to make themselves feel holy by condemning others to get their fix. Don't worry about them.
I see people expecting only clearly, unquestionably, and unchallengeably sweet, nice, encouraging, edifying, (a.k.a., Christianesse) coming from Christians. Especially, pastors and their spouses. Which leads to squeaky-clean appearances… white-washed. It is very sad.
I think in some ways the internet brings out the worst in some otherwise well-meaning Christians. Anonymity suddenly gives them boldness to say things that they would probably never say in person, which in my opinion is very backwards.
IANAT (I am not a theologian), but I do believe there is a biblical precedent for offering a word of warning or correction to fellow believers. However, in my opinion, it always comes from a basis of a personal relationship; either from a person in a position of authority over you, or another brother/sister in Christ (not in the universal sense, as I believe this context assumes a person who knows you well enough to make such an observation). There can be exceptions (e.g. someone acting in the position of a prophet, in the sense that they carry a personal message for you given to them by the Spirit) but those are usually extraordinary circumstances.
Furthermore, all such interactions must be carried out in love, which could hardly be expressed to you by someone unknown to you, which in my mind further demands the requisite personal relationship. There are also standards which should be followed when approaching a brother about a fault, the first of which is in private with grace, before it becomes public and with rebuke. When you call someone out in a public time line on a social media site, I believe you've already broken rule one.
Tam, I guess I'm with you on the "darkside" . We'll burn together… pass me a marshmallow will ya….LOL
Rand’s comment makes me laugh.
The post makes me sad though. I hate passive-aggressiveness.
you said "swoop and poop" – I are so prouds of you
I've often found the meaner swooper and pooper folks are Christians to me. Ugh.
And what melissa said
ugh. (to the post)
I miss you and your cookies and your lovely daughter and sporty son, even your gassy husband. That trip was one of my favorites ever. And I have been some fancy places. But really I would rather share an air mattress with Kass anyday. That's all. Well for now…
Yeah, um…I'd like to echo your "huh?" I saw those tweets and had actually laughed. I guess I'm a bad Christian too. It seems to me the ones who are quick to anger and unfollow are the ones that are currently in the midst of a spiritual battle. I've definitely been there. You lash out and retreat so no one can "attack" back.
You have a beautiful heart and a wonderful vocabulary! "swoopers and poopers!" hahaha! Love it! *hugs*
Well- being that I live in Florida and see a lot of stuff at the beach . So I think that the thing we are all failing to see here is the point that you were making- IT IS TRUE- Men watch women. Then us women we are constantly trying to compare ourselves to each other. You didn't say all of the things I think while sitting at the beach. Things like: Why do all women wear bikinis these days? How am I supposed to feel about my daughters in bikinis as they head towards teen hood? Why do men who visit from Europe find the need to wear speedos and women from other countries visiting need to wear thongs. My hubby and I when we sit near people in such bathing suits listen to see if they are speaking another language- 90% of the time this is true. Then there is us sitting on the beach on Sat. Two parents are walking down the beach with their two little girls. The little girls are about 3 or 4 ish. The girls are naked stripped down to their panties. Obviously they had not "planned" a beach visit that day. As I am pondering whether or not I find this inappropriate or cute- the Dad- pulls the little girls panties to her ankles and she pees right there in the middle of the beach. Come on now- we all know that we hide in the water to do that. Ok- my lengthy point is that we all do it. We people watch. We ponder the world around us. We judge. We process and we look. It is about us taking the world in around us and seeing it for what it is. What I will never get is why- oh why those that call themselves believers in their brokenness are the first ones most of the time to throw mud. I am VERY cautious before I start pointing out your sawdust that I analyze the plank in my own eye. And- the social network sphere is the weirdest place where we all think we can be mean to each other and then hide behind our self righteousness. Not sure I will ever get it.
This particular topic has actually been pressing on my heart too.
3 of the 4 closest people in my life do not believe the same way I do.
I found that interesting….I can also add that those 3 have been the only ones
in my life that have never had an issue with me. Never thought any different, accept me
in every way…and why….probably because I was always the same with them.
I think if God didn't want us to interact with the world in anyway…we would not be living on Earth.
The fact that people spoke up about a simple tweet…140 characters…is plain retarded.
How exactly does that share love with the body of Christ as soon as someone shares something,
someonelse gets down their throat about it?
I have a friend who is a Christian, but grew up extreme conservative, so much so that her parents even moved
to where she went for college so they could keep an eye on her. Now she lives here in FL, and she put on her FB
status, " I really want to go to church, but sometimes I just lose the motivation by that day."
Someone commented under that…." Wasn't Jesus dying on the cross enough motivation for you?"
REALLY now.
I do think that where Christians can be extreme and self-righteous, they also do it sometimes because they don't want to face their own flaws, and the real underlying problem inside them. The real thing they hide in the darkness in a crowded room.
I am not perfect in the least bit, but I realize that God will use the most unlikely people, and the most unlikely situations to teach us things. If we don't let ourselves ever enter those kinds of steps of faith…then really what does that do to our faith.
Beth Moore's quote that is absolutely my life quote,
" Faith that remains unchallenged, ordinarily remains unchanged."
We gotta let what's out there, IN….but to a degree.
And also let me just add that observations are NOT a sin…its what you are seeing with your own two eyes,
its what you have known to be typically true..
I mean really…We are not meant to live life under a rock!
I love one of my friends who I've never met face to face, because in knowing her I have learned so much about
myself. She's not a believer, but she is a genuine decent human being, who accepts me in every way.
We grow together in life…not because we believe the same, but because we take the good with the bad of one another,
and share with each other our lives: Our struggles, insecurities, and things we are sensitive too.
When it comes down to it…this is the truth.
We are all sinners saved by Jesus Christ…the only good in us is HIM…nothing else about us, nothing we say, or do will ever change that.
I want to quote Anne Graham Lotz:
" Our world lives in spiritual darkness, seperated from God. But people have adjusted and generally speaking are comfortable in their " twilight zone". They may not be able to "see" God or others, or themselves clearly, but they see well enough to get along in life."
" Imagine lighting a candle, just one with a small flame. While that flame would not give off enough light to illuminate a large room, it would still throw a circle of light around you, enabling you to see your immediate surroundings. And it could be seen from the farthest corners of the room. Now imagine snuffing out the candle, then taking a paper bag and filling it with darkness of the room. Open the door and step into a bright room with lamplight and sunshine flooding every nook and cranny. If you opened the bag and let the darkness escape into the lighted room what would happen? Nothing. Darkness cannot overcome light. Light is stronger and more penetrating then darkness. The light cannot be overcome by darkness, but it can be hidden by us. (Matthew 5:14-18)
Your light is the truth of the gospel message, don't hide it!"
I know while my friends may not be believers, that they look and see how i live my life. They would never judge, but I do know that
they listen to me. I have got to be me all the time, but they do also know that I am human too, and I also make mistakes….
but its the part of trying not to make them so much that is important I think.
" When perfection comes, the imperfect disappears." Yep, and amen.
God doesn't have expectations for us, we place it on ourselves. We are the ones who make ourselves weary at the end of the day
because we didn't do all that " God" would want us to.
I'm about living out His love.
Its starts with me loving Him, and then it goes to the left and right…
He deals with me. He knows where my heart is.
I don't think we have to explain that to anyonelse…
Okay. Done.:)
I thought your observations were just that. Observations. Kinda like observations in a candy store: 1. Kids put dirty hands and snotty noses on the glass, 2. Women drool silently over the decadent chocolate truffles.
After a combined church's worship and prayer night that was being hosted at my church that year, I kicked off my heeled shoes as I always do after singing on the platform. (my feet hurt, ok?) This woman rocks up to me while I'm in conversation with the music team coordinator, I've never seen her before in my life, and she proceeds to tell me "How dare you be barefoot in the House of the Lord!!"
I immediately replied (truly, my greatest moment of thinking on the spot) "Why shouldn't I be? This is Holy ground!" (We had declared it so in our prayer time)
Her mouth dropped open and she stalked off without reply. Nathan recovered from his own shock at her audacity to high five me as soon as she turned her back
" Take off your sandals the place you are standing is Holy Ground."
AMEN girl:)
My husband and I were leading worship at my home church one sunday and the pastor actually approached my husband just minutes before the service was the to start and asked him to change his clothes because he was not dressed well enough. and to put something on his feet besides flip flops because no one wanted to stare at his ugly feet. then he used scripture to justify. that was the day I knew my 26 year stint at that church was finished.
What was that scripture about the rich man in fine clothes and the poor man…. something about favoritism… geesh.
Here in The Top End, we have the "good thongs" (flip flops) We had a visiting music team trainer come up from south and was telling us what was appropriate wear for church, and Adam pipes up with "but I wear my good Sunday thongs with my boardies!" He was only (half) kidding, but the guy looked horrified
Tam.. I'm seeing an interesting blog topic emerging…
I doubt she follows JamieTheVWM…..
Honestly, most people like that mean well. There's a monstrously painful division in our church world today between those who genuinely believe that various "rules" (they vary) are how we keep the Bride of Christ pure and those who believe that it is the Blood of Christ that keeps the Bride of Christ pure.
We need to listen to the Holy Spirit, but we have to also find the grace to not sin in how we deal with people who want to correct us for the things we do that they feel are wrong.
Trust me, I deal with it VERY regularly. It hurts.
Jake made an observation a few weeks ago concerning something that happened here with a Major. "Stupid comes in all sizes, shapes, and apparently ranks." I think this applies too. ;o)
You can't fix stoopid
(On the off chance you get that quote,of course, I would never watch anything like that though. Much less repeat it in christian circles. nuh uh.)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! ;o)
You know that value that Christ gave us…"let him who is without sin cast the first stone"? I sometimes feel that if that were being said today, it would be "let him who is without sin start the flame war, unfollow and block".
That's just my observation, by the way
i am SO sorry to everyone for being MIA. i can not respond to each comment with intense debate from my phone. i dont know why. and thats all i had access to the last two days.
so…post coming tomorrow on this subject.
and…im home from vacation.
bitter. sweet.